love, as it should be…

30 Jun

She sits on the edge of her seat, listening to his words.  Her mind easily becomes distracted by the pain tripping into her heart.  Such a beautiful soul – so strong, so caring, so protective, so lighthearted; to be slowly torn down, disintegrating and decaying into something foreign; unrecognizable.  His laughing brown eyes are being replaced by a cold wariness that seems beyond his control, frightening her.

 She doesn’t know where he is – the shadows surrounding him are unfamiliar to her.  She hears whispers of their evils, occasionally stumbling across the dulled hopes they leave in their wake – but she doesn’t understand, she can’t understand.  He makes new friends, as he calls them – they both know better.  For these new figures do not yearn for his safety as she does.  They do not smile when he is happy, stress when he is sad.  Most certainly they do not cry when he is in pain.  She wonders if they feel – if they feel anything.  Do they strive for numbness?  Her heart aches when she considers her dear boy blending into this black hole.  Her eyes moisten when she realizes that he is already almost there.

 A seeming panic overcomes here, although impending doom seems rather more appropriate, screams the back of her mind.  She tries to recall the last time his words were not laced with resignation, and all she can find is one moment where she was granted a fleeting glimpse of the man she cares for.  Blissful though the frame itself makes her heart feel, it is immediately shattered and swept aside by the realization that his words and his touch had been directed not at his own soul, but at her own.  It would appear as though the only aspirations left in his weakening heart are those set for his family; for his family, and for her.  Blind as he is, he cannot see that their hopes and desires are all revolving around his safety, if not his happiness.

 Love, not as it is, but as it was, and as it should be, is all they have left – the fragile rope seemingly keeping his bleak self alive – if not well. 

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One Response to “love, as it should be…”

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  1. Amen | Poetizing - July 3, 2013

    […] love, as it should be… (janeyisadoe.wordpress.com) […]

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